Im Me

Time to get back on tumblr!

I’ve been very depressed lately.Im trying to come to terms with myself.I wish I could just wake up as a boy,but no I have to deal with this drama and how people will react.I never have anyone to talk to,I just dont know what to do anymore.

Im transgender FTM I will start posting updates and stories about me soon.Love y’all:)

if you’re gay, that’s cool

if you’re a lesbian, that’s cool

if you’re bisexual, that’s cool

if you’re straight, that’s cool

if you’re transgender, that’s cool

if you’re still deciding, that’s cool

if you’re asexual, that’s cool

if you’re pansexual, that’s cool

if you hate on somebody for their sexuality, fuck you.

Chapter 2-My dream

I had a dream the other night.A wonderful dream.The kind of dream that you want to savor every last bit you remember of it.It started off in some kind of movie theater.I was with some of my friends,talking,then out of nowhere this girl comes up (who in the dream I was dating) and asks me to the movies.My cheeks turn red with fiery sensation.”Yeah of course”, I say with a smirk on my face.We take some kind of long staircase passing others to get into the movie faster (cutting people).When we reach our seats I look over.The theater is crowded with people waiting to see the film.We stare at each other then a slight second later she pulls her hand closer to mine.Are fingers bind together in what turns into us holding hands tightly,Never letting go.She leans forward.We stare at each other for a second or two.We both begin to lean forward in a slow motion.Her lips begin to brush up on mine.I never wanted it to end.The soft silk texture of her lips was something I was drawn to.After what seems like only a second goes by it ends.After the linger of her lips we begin to look at each other once more.A slight gentle smile comes across her face.We both realize we never want this moment to past.Then it ended.I woke up from the dream abruptly.I touch my top lip with my pointer finger hoping it was real.It wasn’t,but some day it will be.

Hopefully I can get chapter 2 up by tomorrow. I’m really excited with this new “book” ive started about my life.I hope you all enjoy it as well.Please reblog my story to help people facing lbgt problems.Thank you for listening:)

Preface:

What if?What if I was normal?What if people loved me?What if people cared about me?What if the world was better?What if….I wasn’t alive anymore.These questions repeat giving me an burning head ache daily.Sometimes I think it might be better, without me alive.I see kids who take there lives due to bullying.And I ask myself why,why is the world like this?Arent we better than that.I guess not.I was always different.But I tried so hard, so hard to be what I wasn’t.What I wanted to be,not who I was.So ive spent my life in the shadows.An alien in my own world. Dodging everything that related to my problem.Well it wasn’t exactly a problem.Some people would learn to embrace it while others stared at me with hatred.I cant hide who I am anymore. I’m Me,and that’s all I want to be.Yeah it will be hard to live my life.But it makes me a better person.A strong citizen.And a greater friend.So this is the story of my life.

Chapter 1-Where it starts.

I remember growing up living in a very controlled world.Girls should behave as girls and boys should behave as boys.Men have to be masculine and women have to be girly.Who made up these rules?Who decides what we can and cannot act like?No one is the answer.When I was about six or seven I wore alot of boys clothes,I mean the whole thing.I had batman underwear,polo button downs and even khakis.I finally grew out of that stage. I’m not the most girl-est person in the world (by far) but I do were my hair down,wear makeup and dress alot more famine.I still enjoy wearing random t shirts everyday but that’s just my style.At about the age of 12 I started noticing something.Something that I wasn’t so sure about.I started having feelings towards something that I wasn’t supposed to like.Girls. Every night I would pray and beg God to change me.Nothing happened.I told my self it was a phase and it would pass over.Two years later nothing changed.I started having more emotions then before.So I did the average thing and researched my topic.It pulled up lists of Thetrevorproject,Itgetsbetter,and my final favorite Glee.Glee changed everything for me.It allowed me to see people in different ways.It wasn’t just a phase it was well me.I finally realized I never choose this,God just made me this way.